Temptation of light after all these years to flatter the dark, the dark, the dark, I gradually takes a surprising attraction to clarity - calm and peacefulness, serenity. Provided, of course, clear that this is a hard struggle won from the shadows, and always surrounded and threatened by it - otherwise why bother? This is a blade, however, rather than dusk.
Waiting with curiosity to see the impact that this change could have a "light" on my writing to come ...
M. is a rare reader: it is just trying to pull myself up to my own height. Rigor overcomes mine, often failing, his lucidity my blindness to my own lyrics. I'm not sure I deserve the chance to have such a reader!
With his comments on "The King of Avalon "I became fully aware of something already approached: too often, I like to hide beneath the flashy trappings true about my writing. Something in me (for some modesty unwelcome?) Conspires to n'exhiber that the anecdotal: in my stories, the hidden meaning ahead.
It may be objected that literature is a whole set of masks: Certainly yes, but a game that, in a double movement, conceals and reveals its meaning. Now I, I think I multiply the posturing, or hocus-pocus, as if to prevent the emergence of some horrible secret (this emerges yet irresistibly but hollow, so to say, is tenuous and almost miraculous that owes me nothing ... and maybe save my texts of complete inanity).
Thus, compliance with codes of genre literature (fantastic or wonderful) to me is a ruse, intended, first, to conceal the essentially intimate of my remarks and, secondly, to evade freedom frightening and overwhelming prestige of what it is called (horribly) the general literature.
These comments make me seriously think that my practice of writing is at the stage (indefinable) preceding literature, rather in the literature itself.
Conclusion of this: I must now find a new discipline to go against my natural tendency, instinctive, animal, the secret to concealment. Several ancient texts could advantageously be submitted: "Avalon," So, "The River", but also my recent "Richard the Lion Heart" ...
(Allegory of the simulation, L. Lippi, c. 1640, Musée des Beaux-Arts d'Angers.)
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